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Written by Carole Cloudwalker
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Just when you thought you were safe from celebrating things for a while, since the last Easter egg has been chopped up into your chef’s salad and all, here comes yet another holiday.
Yes, it’s true. Speaking of eggs, May 4 has been designated National Respect for Chickens Day. Don’t be chicken - check it out. Then celebrate, in whatever manner seems most appropriate for you.
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These great questions and answers are from the days when the Hollywood Squares game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions.
Q. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?
A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness! (The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!)
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Written by Ken Loge
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It was a beautiful sunny September day and my family and I had been driving around for hours running errands. A milkshake sounded good so we pulled into a well known fast food restaurant and decided it was more economical to order a single large milkshake, rather than two smaller ones. (Mildly interesting footnote: Our little boy, Trevor, is still a baby and doesn’t drink milkshakes. Hence, the third member of the aforementioned “family”).
Cruddy drive up speaker: Chhhk. Chhhk. Hello, welcome to …[insert any fast food restaurant name here]… Chhhk.
Slight pause as customer tries to sort out 3,291 listed items, looking for desired food classification and general geographic area on sign real estate. Probably 8 seconds have elapsed, but this is like an eon in FFT (Fast Food Time).
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Written by Ken Loge
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A friend who lives in Chicago, where it is currently very cold noted that it was “colder than a well digger’s ass.” I hadn’t heard anyone use that phrase in a while and it made me wonder where the phrase came from. I still don’t know the actual origin of the phrase, but as I understand, the traditional job of a well digger required using a shovel and bucket to dig down deep enough into the earth that water would fill the void that was dug out, thus creating a well. (It doesn’t take a genius to compare one’s anus to a hole in the ground, does it?)
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Written by Carole Cloudwalker
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On Saturday my dog and I watched “Titanic” on a Netflix DVD.
On Sunday, Monday and Tuesday we lived it. Wapiti style.
Yes, it’s true: There can be high water on the high ground, even in a house on a bench several hundred feet above the North Fork of the Shoshone River, where no water has flowed in a creek for hundreds of years.
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